I love the pain
by The Padawan453
Summary: The last strenght Anakin Skywalker had, was to let go. Let go of Padmé. After that, Vader took control. A/N: Another kind of Mustafar-scene and how it could have turned out. Padmé survives birth.
1. Prologue

**New story! Yeeeeeh! Please review.**

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Darth Vader used the force to choke his wife. His eyes were shining yellow and red in competition with the magma of Mustafar. He couldn't believe that she would turn against him. After everything, he had done for her! He had done all this to save her. Order 66, the younglings, Palpatine, everything. "Anakin, please…" Padmé gasped for air as she pleaded him to let go. _You're killing her, _a voice said in his head. No, I'm not, he replied. I'm saving her.

"Let her go, Anakin!" His old Master shouted as he came down the ramp. _That's not my name! _he wanted to shout back. "Let. Her. Go." Once again, a voice told Vader that he was killing his beloved wife. No, he wouldn't allow that. She couldn't die at his hand. He released her and she fell to the ground unconscious. For a moment, only a second, his eyes turned back to the old, blue color they had been since his birth. But then the darkness clouded him again. "You turned her against me!"

"You have done that yourself!" They began to circle each other like animals as Obi-Wan talked. "You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind until now… until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy."

"Don't lecture me Obi-Wan," Vader said with rage in his voice. How dared Obi-Wan to lecture him?! "I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do." He turned his back at him. "I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire!"

"Your new empire?"

"Don't make me kill you." Please Obi-Wan; don't.

"Anakin, you won't kill me." His voice was confident as if he really believed in his words. Vader frowned. "That name has no more meaning to me," he said and turned to face the red-haired man.

"It has to me," Obi-Wan said. "And to Padmé and your future child."

"Don't talk about them!" Vader screamed and ignited his blue lightsaber. At first, Obi-Wan were going to ignite his own but… The elder man shook his head. "I can't fight you. I love you too much."

"You know nothing of love! You're an emotionless Jedi! A droid!" If Vader hadn't been living the first nine years of his lives with his mother, he would have been just like any other Jedi. Emotionless. He would have _let go of everything he feared to lose._ Padmé. His dear, dear Padmé. He couldn't let go of her. That was why he had turned to the dark side. If that was what it would take to save her, he would do it. Everything for her.

"I am a Jedi," Obi-Wan said, pulling Vader out of his thoughts. "But I do love you. You are my brother and I could never hurt you. Please listen to me."

Vader screamed back that he would not listen and his grip around the lazer sword tightened. In desperation, Kenobi said: "Padmé did not bring me here." The Sith apprentice stiffened. "What did you say?"

"Padmé did not bring me here. I snuck into the ship without her knowing. She thought I was going to kill you so she wouldn't tell me where you were. She really loves you, despite all that you have done."

A little shock came over lord Vader. He had accused his wife for something she didn't do. Not only that, he had almost KILLED her for something she didn't do. A brief moment he felt terrible but control came back to him. "S-she should love me. I'm trying to save her." Vader's old Master could feel that he had hit a sore point. Maybe, if he just kept digging there, he could get Anakin back. The hope was tiny but it was hope after all. "Love is not something you can demand, Anakin. You have to earn that." Vader didn't correct him with the name and Obi-Wan took that as a good sign. He tried to go out even further. "And how is killing all the Jedi helping you save her?"

The young man shook confused his head, his eyes changing from yellow to blue all the time. "Palpatine demanded it. The Jedi was betraying the Republic…"

"But what did that have to do with Padmé? That was just a thing Palpatine wanted you to do for him."

Immediately, the eyes took a permanent yellow color. "SHUT UP!" Vader screamed. He ran toward Obi-Wan but the man didn't move. Vader raised his lightsaber, ready to kill, but the blade stopped only one centimeter from Kenobi's head. Obi-Wan talked, not afraid to die but to lose his best friend. "I knew you couldn't do it. You're too…"

"I am not too weak!"

"No, Anakin, no." His voice was very calm. "You are too _strong._"

Blue eyes. Beautiful, blue eyes appeared. Anakin dropped his lightsaber, which turned off in the process. He stood a moment, gathering his thoughts, before he ran to the little figure lying on the floor. "Padmé!" He kneeled down beside her; trying to wake her up. "Padmé, please wake up. Please, please please!" Tears floated from his eyes and his voice broke as he shook her carefully. She didn't move. Anakin pressed two fingers against her throat and sighed relieved when he found a weak pulse. Very weak in fact, but the important things was that it was there. What had he done? How could the hate, anger and rage have taken so much control over him? Slowly, he bent down and whispered something in to her, Obi-Wan didn't hear.

"Goodbye my love. Always remember that you are my world, my everything. But I'm not good for you anymore. I almost killed you and our baby. Stay away from me forever. I love you."

He got up and turned to the Jedi Master with tears on his cheeks. "Don't let me find her. I'm going to regret, letting her go and I _will_ look for her. Keep her and the child hidden." Obi-Wan nodded well knowing that this was the right thing to do. Anakin was showing a great deal of strength by keeping himself from his wife and child.

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Padmé was on the ship and Obi-Wan came out. Maybe to say goodbye, maybe to try to change things or maybe just to look at Mustafar one last time. "Take it," Anakin said and handed him his lightsaber. "Give it to Padmé so that she will have something from her old life with her."

"Anakin, I can't…"

"Just take it!" The shout came from Vader. Shocked, Anakin listen to his own, angry voice. How did he get so annoyed, so quickly? He tried to calm himself down but it was hard. Why couldn't Obi-Wan just take it instead of starting a fight about it? Typically Kenobi. "Please…" Anakin whispered before he got too angry.

Obi-Wan took the lightsaber and went back inside the ship. He couldn't bear to say goodbye. Not after all they've been through. Ha had lost his best friend, his brother, to a faith worse than death. And the worst part of it: Vader wanted that faith. As R2D2 started the ship, the Jedi sat next to the unconscious, former senator and he didn't look back at the planet once. "R2, we're going to Polis Massa. Padmé needs medical attention." The little astrodroid beeped in respond but even his oh-so-cheerful beep sounded depressed now. Maybe he and C-3PO were droids but they had souls anyway.

After a short among of time, the four of them arrived at Polis Massa. Padmé was very weak as Obi-Wan carried her inside. Yoda and Bail Organa greeted them in the hall and let them to a medbay. On their way, Padmé suddenly screamed in pain. "The c-child is coming!" she screamed and placed a hand over her belly. The rest of the journey to the nurse-droid took place in a running pace. When Padmé was placed on a medbay, and the nurse-droid tried to calm her down, Yoda asked a question he had had on his mind for a long time. "That the senator was pregnant, I knew. The father, who was?"

"Anakin," Obi-Wan replied with a sad voice.

Yoda did and did not look surprised. He had always known that Skywalker and Amidala were close, a little _too_ close, but he had never thought that they had an actual relationship. Especially not one like this. "They have been married in three years," Obi-Wan added.

"Lives in the body, only Vader does. Skywalker, gone he is." The green, little aliens' voice grew sadder and sadder for every word. "Along with the rest of the Jedi."

"You knew I didn't kill him?"

"Felt it in the force, I did. But something else, also, hmmm?"

"He… he let us go." Obi-Wan's thoughts traveled back to Anakin's act on the volcano planet. "He had a moment where he was free of the darkness and he asked me to take care of Padmé. To never let him find her or the child… Master Yoda, I believe there's still good in him." He hadn't dared to say this out loud until now. Now, where he couldn't see the the yellow eyes, sense the dark side and hear the angry voice. Now, where he just couldn't believe it again.

The old Master closed his eyes and bowed his head. He didn't agree with Kenobi but before he could say anything, a painful scream was heard. Obi-Wan left Yoda and Bail, and walked in to the birthing woman.

"Obi-Wan, w-where is Ana-Anakin?" she asked between her crying.

What should he reply? He's not coming? He has turned to the dark side? He's dead?

"Padmé… Anakin can't be here."

"Of course he can! It's his child!"

This was so hard for Obi-Wan Kenobi. Cause every word he was going to say would bring him closer to truly believe Anakin had turned completely. But maybe it was best that way after all. If they could forget Anakin Skywalker and see him like a dead person, the sorrow wouldn't be so hard to deal with. Like if Padmé could hear his unspoken words, she cried even more. "NO! No, you're all wrong! This isn't him! Anakin is still there! Nooo!" Her sobbing increased and before anyone had the time to calm her down, the nurse-droid told her to push.

Twins. Who would have thought that? Twins. They were named Luke and Leia, just like Anakin had proposed. The day of their birth would always be a bittersweet memory to Padmé Naberrie Amidala Skywalker. She had delivered two babies and though she had recovered fully, something inside her had broken beyond repair.

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"Where is Kenobi and your wife, my apprentice?" His voice was cold and the nice man Vader once had seen was long gone. But he had great power and without power, you are nothing. His Master could even tell that Obi-Wan and Padmé had been here not long ago, without concentrating at all.

Anakin took a deep breath and did what he had told himself to do. Protect Padmé and the child. "They're dead. They turned against me and I killed them." The words were pain in his heart cause what he told was almost true. But they _had_ turned against him and they had tried to take his new power from him. He would fight for his power forever. Even against his old friends.

With the emperor believing that Obi-Wan and Padmé, along with the child, had died, Vader would never be able to look for them. That was the last act that Anakin Skywalker was going to do in many years. Vader was now alone in the body.

**Thank you for reading :D Now, send me a review please!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Here's chapter 2! It was up way faster than I expected! I guess I was just inspired... :D But don't think that I'm going to upload a new chapter every day, cause then you will be disappointed. I'll rather write good stuff when I'm inspired, then write bantha poodoo just because I need to get finished. Ps. For confused readers: No, Vader didn't get burned. He's still handsome ;) I hope you will leave a review and now: Enjoy the story!**

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I have lost so many friends to the empire. My family, Bail Organa, then Owen and Beru. The first one I lost was… never mind. All I have left now is Ben Kenobi and my children Luke and Leia Kenobi. And that's all I need to keep going. Yoda lives somewhere out there… I hope. As I lie in my bed, in Owen and Beru's old home on Tatooine, I prepare myself for today. It's my children's fifteen-years-old birthday. So many years since that day. I still miss him so badly and every day I cry a little. When I wake up, when I'm alone and when I go to bed. Every day is especially tough because every day is carrying a memory of _him_ with it. It could be everything from our anniversary to a day where he called me his angle.

08:33 o'clock. _You need get up now, Padmé, _I think to myself. _You have survived this day before and you will survive it again. _The last tear falls down my cheek and I get up. The little, sand-colored room has only three furniture's: a large bed, a cabinet and a green chair. In the bottom of the cabinet, there is a drawer. The drawer hasn't been open since we moved in here, about five years ago. And it will only be opened when we have to move again. To make sure no curious twins tries to open it, it carries a lock and I alone have the key. I pull out a light brown dress from the cabinet, not of silk like I use to wear, but more like the ones Shmi had. And around my neck, I hang the key to my drawer, which is in the same chain as my beloved japor snippet.

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"Happy birthday!" I say and place two plates of breakfast in front of Luke and Leia. "I can't believe your growing so fast. It feels just like yesterday you were playing with toy-ships." They smile back to me.

"Thank you, mom," Luke says and start eating of the enormous plate. His appetite is as big as Ana… _his. _And he has the same blond, shaggy hair and the same blue eyes. Sometimes, I could look in them for a long time but I never allowed myself to think they were Anakin's. Oh no. I had thought of the name. Quickly, I turned around to hide the tears that I can feel in the corner of my eye. "Are you okay, mom?" Leia ask.

Thank the force that Ben walks in to the kitchen. "Well, there's the young adults," he says and my children gives him a hug. "I do feel like an adult, uncle Ben," Leia says and turns to me. Of course, I have dried the tears away. "An adult who can go to Mos Eisley by herself?" she tries out. I simply shake my head. "Not in a thousand years."

She and her brother drops their heads and I giggled. Every year, they try to convince me that they can take care of themselves. If the time had been different, I would have seen no problem in them, going to the city as long as they stayed together. But the time wasn't different. The empire was really out there, along with all the stormtroopers. If only their father had been here to protect them. Of course, if he was, there would be no empire to protect them from.

Ben senses my sadness and gives me a comforting hug. "Congratulation with your children," he says. I pull back and say: "Thank you, Ben." The first years of the twins' lives, it had been the weirdest thing for me to call Obi-Wan: Ben. Now, it is hard for me to think that he once had another name. That was also a long time ago, when he had red hair instead of white, and wore Jedi robes instead of common farmer clothes. Back when my life was perfect. _Don't start crying, Padmé. It's your kids' birthday. _I don't listen to myself and I feel the water in my eyes.

"Mommy, are you alright?" Leia asks for the second time.

"Yes, yes of course I'm alright. It's just so hard to believe that it's fifteen years since you were born. Fifteen years…" I sigh. Ben puts a hand on my shoulder and sends me a it-is-alright look. "Well, I have to do some… laundry," I say and move towards my room. Behind my back, Luke and Leia tries to follow me but Ben shakes his head.

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After crying and holding my japor snippet close to me, I pull it together and go to the living room where my son is watching the international pod-racing competitions. "Hey mom, it's the final. You want to watch with me?" He smiles at me and I get down on the sofa besides him. "Of course I will Luke." His attempt to cheer me up is actually working. Good boy, Luke. "Who are we cheering on?" I ask.

"Uhm… that guy!" Luke says excited and points at the screen as a black pod shows up. It's closed and I can't see who's inside.

"Who's that?"

"Actually, I don't know. But he has won every race in the competition so far, so everybody just call him 'winner'."

The race starts and every pod is out on the track. Except the black one. "There seems to be a problem with the engines," I think out loud.

"No!" Luke replies, even more excited. "It's his trick! The first twenty second in a race is where it's most dangerous. About thirty percent of the drivers are going down there. But not him! He's smart enough to wait and then get out on the track after the first ones have crashed! I would give up my right arm to know where he has learned that!"

"Don't say things like that!" I say maybe a little too hard. Luke doesn't even hear me; all his focus is on the screen. The black pod takes off. My son wasn't joking. The driver is amazing, even I can tell that and I don't like pod-racing. Quickly, he's almost in front and both me and and Luke leans towards the holoTV. "Yes!" Luke shouts. "Come on!" I join his cheerful shouts and the pod-driver takes the first place. Then it all clicks for me. The driving, the pod-design, the technic. Only one person can drive like that. Anakin.

I can hear Ben outside, talking to Leia. "Where is Padmé? I need to talk to her now!" Leia sounds confused when she answers: "She's watching the race with Luke."

"Oh no. Turn it off!" Ben shouts as he walks inside. But it's too late. I have seen it. I stumble down behind the sofa and I'm screaming on top of my lungs. My hands cover my ears, trying to shut everything out. Between the sobbing and crying, I manage to scream, "Turn it off, turn it off, TURN IT OFF!" Leia storms in after Ben and Luke turns off the screen. "Mom, what's going on?!" he ask, his voice shocked and terrified. I just shake my head and burry it deeper in my hands. The breakdown I haven't allowed myself to have in fifteen years is happening.

"Padmé…" Ben tries out carefully and kneels down beside me. I rap my arms around him and cry into his shoulder. "H-h-h-he wa-was there!"

"I know," Ben replies and caress my back. "I saw it."

"I-It's a-all my fau-fault! If I-I hadn't… h-he would be-be here n-now!"

"Ssshhh, sshhh…. It's not your fault."

"Obi-Wan...! I still love him!"

"I know," he says once again, without caring about the fact that I called him by his real name. "What's going on? Is she going to be okay? Who's Obi-Wan?" Luke and Leia cut in. One single look on their faces, tells me that they are terrified. When they were born, I told myself that I wouldn't do this in front of them. Now, I have failed them just like failed _him_.

I get up from the floor and run in to my room. The door doesn't smack behind me and I can hear my family's steps. They all stop in the door, looking at me. Ben with a very sad, compassionate look. Luke and Leia with a very scared look. I fall to my knees and crawl all the way to the cabinet. With shaking hands, I take off my necklace with the japor snippet and the key. The drawer. I need to open the drawer. The pain will double once I do it but I have to. I need to see it. "Padmé, I don't…"

"No," I cut off Ben. "I need to see it. I'm aware of the consequences."

"What consequences?" Luke asks still confused and scared.

I don't answer him; I'm too busy. Key in my hand. Key in the lock. Turn the key. Hear click. Deep breath. Open. It's still there. Exactly as I put it five years ago. His lightsaber. The weapon that has saved my life many times. I get to my feet and ignite the blade as I remember Ani doing it. The blue lazer appears and I realize I was wrong. The pain didn't double, it tripled.

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**Thanks for reading :) hope you will come back for next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 2

**Great news! I finally have vacation! That means I'm going to have time to write more than usually :) but I'm going to an island called Bogø, on english: Book island (I know it's a weird name) and there is almost no internet there. And I'm also going to spend some time with my family. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

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"Don't worry, Ben. I'm not going to hurt myself," I inform him as I stand with the blue lightsaber. He had stepped forward in the believe that I would kill myself. I would never do that. Maybe my heart was broken but it still had to work just enough for my children. I would never leave them in this cruel world.

"What is that?" Luke asks as he stares at the weapon in my hands. Even though he is scared of what I had just done, you can hear the fascination in his voice. But why shouldn't you be hearing it? His midichlorian count is almost as high as his father's and the same situation for Leia as well. 19.879 for both of them. "It's a lightsaber," I reply quiet and slow, my gaze not leaving it. Anakin had once held this in his hand. "The elegant weapon of a Jedi."

These words immediately catch everybody's attention. Especially Ben's because I have never spoken of this before. "A Jedi?" Leia asks. "I thought they had been slaughtered before we were born." Ben giggles a little and says, "Not all of them. Two survived." I turn the lightsaber off and spin around to face him. How dared he say two? And in front of me?

"Three," I say not wanting to believe that… that… "But one of them got seriously injured."

Ben looks at me with a sad expression. He doesn't think Anakin is still in there. He only sees Vader, however, he also knows that he will never convince me that. My statement is clear. "Who are those two? Are they still alive?" My children's question pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, they're not dead." Ben says. "Not yet."

"Do you know them?" Luke asks eagerly.

He doesn't get an answer right away. Ben looks upon me and his eyes are saying _if you don't want me to, I won't tell them. _He has always wanted to tell them the story, but I just couldn't bear it. The thought of them, hating their father, was unbearable. It's still unbearable. But I know it's time for them to hear a part of the story. "It's okay," I whisper to him.

He smiles and looks at the twins. "Well of course I know them! One of them is me!"

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We all sit in the kitchen around a little table. I don't cry anymore, just gazing at my cup of orange juice. And I don't say anything when Ben tells the story. I'm just listening. He has told everything about the old days but it is now that the hard part is coming. "One day," Ben says. "Me and Master Qui-Gon were to be ambassadors on a separatist ship. It didn't go exactly as we planned and they tried to kill us. We were lucky to escape and we arrived on Naboo, the planet the separatist was sending an invasion army. We found a ship and took off with the queen and her handmaidens." He smiles at me, both of us remembering that day. Almost thirty years ago. He continues. "We had to crash land here on Tatooine, Mos Espa more precisely. And there we met a boy."

"Are you and angel?" I suddenly ask to the blue air. I then look up and meet Ben's gaze. "A-Anakin asked me that. He asked me: Are you an angel?" If I thought thinking, his name was hard, saying it was nearly impossible.

Luke and Leia looks confused and Ben explains them what happened. Watto, Sebulba, Shmi. He wasn't there himself but he might just could have been with his detailed words. Qui-Gon had apparently told him the entire story. "…and he then drives in on a first place!" Ben says with a big smile. I believe he's enjoying the old stories about our dear Ani as much as I am. The story of the Podrace at Boonta Eve makes me wander… "Luke, why don't you go in and check who won the race?" I ask. My son slowly get up from his chair and walks to the living room. We can all hear the TV as he turns it on.

"_What a wonderful race don't you think? But I must say I wasn't surprised when ´The winner´ _(everybody screams) _took home the first place."_ I wasn't either.

With the speed of light, Luke is back in the kitchen. "You- you're not gonna believe it! ´The winner´ he-he's the emperor's apprentice! It's Darth Vader!" All of my body reacts to the name. My nerve system sends warnings to my brain and my heart beats a little faster. Which is unbelievable cause ever since _his_ turn, my pulse has been almost zero. In one, quick, swift motion I stand and shout, "Don't say that name! Don't you EVER say that name again, Luke Kenobi!"

Everybody, especially Luke, looks shocked at my reaction. I'm the one who's shocked the most. I knew that driver was _him_ from the moment he took the lead, and still I react like this when I hear the name. That name that was to ruin my life, my heart and my husband. But it's not Luke's fault. "I-I'm sorry," I whisper and hug Luke.

"It's okay mom. It's okay." We sit down again and continue the story like nothing happened.

Half an hour later.

"Wait a minute," Leia says. "_You_ were the queen of Naboo? Why didn't you ever tell us?"

I smile at her and try to explain. "I just wasn't ready to tell you. It's a big part of me and it was a time before the empire. A time it can be dangerous to mention. My past is one of the reasons why we are moving so much." _The only reason._ "And that's also why I don't want you to go out alone." _You're lying again, Padmé. It's because of their father. Just tell them!_ Instead of telling them the truth, I let Ben continue.

"We got to the palace while the Gungans made themselves ready for war. After we had fought us our way to the main hangar, my Master told Anakin to stay in the cockpit in where he was hiding. And he most certainly did." Ben and I laugh at the thought of Anakin and R2 on their way to a space battle the really didn't plan to join. "However," he goes on. "We were cut off by Darth Maul so while me and Qui-Gon took care of him, your mother and the others had to take the long way to the throne room. Some destroyers was in their way but Anakin shot them down from his starfighter. Unfortunately, the ship was on automatic pilot and they flew straight towards the battle in space." Luke and Leia laugh with us; we can all imagine Anakin's face when the ship took off. I'm surprised that I actually can hear the entire story again without having a mental breakdown every time I hear my husband's name.

"And you know what he does next? He blows up the entire spacestation!" Ben says with a big smile on his face.

"How?" Luke asks smiling just as much. "How did he do that? I mean, he was only nine years old!"

"He i… was the best pilot in the galaxy." I curse myself for almost saying, _he is_. But I wanted to say _is_. He's still the pilot in the galaxy and he still lives. He just shares his body with another. Darth Vader. _Don't you dare cry now! _For once, I listen to the voice inside my head and hold back the tears that are threatening to run down my cheeks. I will not ruin this happy moment. "What ever happened to him?" my daughter asks curious. The words or more correct: the answer, burns inside me. Never stopping pain. But I can't say I hate it. The pain is the only thing that keeps reminding me that he actually exists and I love the pain for that.

Ben sighs deep and tells them that Qui-Gon didn't finish the battle alive. And that he took Anakin as his apprentice and we parted. "I continued as queen," I say. "But later served as senator. And I didn't see Anakin for another ten years." Back then, I thought that ten years of being away from each other, was going to be our record. We beat that record five years ago. "Ten years can be a very long time." My voice break as I speak but I still refuse to sob. Ben takes my hand and does everything on his power to comfort me.

"Please mom," Luke says with a pained voice. "Tell us why you're so sad. I can't bear to see you like this. I know that you've always been a little sad but I've never seen you like this."

I don't response because I know that it will start the sobbing. Instead, I give Ben's hand a little squeeze, telling him to continue for me. "Your mother just misses Anakin." True. Oh-so true.

"Why?" Leia asks confused and desperate to know the truth. "With all respect; it's so many years since the order 66. Why does she still miss a boy she hardly had any contact with? Why is he so important?"

"Well… he has an important role to play in this story." It's clear that Ben don't really know what to say.

My children looks even more desperate know and in choir, they ask, "Why?"

I sniffle and look at them, right in there beautiful eyes. "Because he's your father."

_To be continued…_

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**Thanks for reading :) Please review!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Dan da da daaaaan! Next chapter :) It's next week from Sunday the 7. and to Sunday the 14. that I'm on vacation. So I won't be uploading there...I think. Hey, I want to thank you guys. You have been really supportive and nice to me. A speciel thanks goes to: LittleDanceGame16 for one of my best reviews ever, to Maleficent-darkgoodwitch2416 for having pressed the favorite button on three of my storie, inculding this one, and to QueenYoda for saying that she'd never seen anything like this before. And a special thanks to you reader ;) Enjoy this chapter and leave a review please!**

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"Because he's your father." Did I say that out loud? Did I? From the looks on my children's faces, I did. I should have told them a long time ago, that, I know now. They've never heard of their father before, cause Ben clearly instructed them many years ago, to never ask me about him. And they never have. The silence is upon us and no one dares to break it. Luke and Leia gaze at the table and I can only imagine what they are going through. Suddenly, Luke smiles and says to his cup of juice, "My father was a Jedi." Then his smile disappears as quickly as it came, and he goes back in to his thoughts. I can see Leia is on the edge of crying. That ship has sailed for me. Warm tears are rolling down my cheeks and drips down on the tabletop. Drip, drip, drip. "I thought you said attachment was forbidden for a Jedi," Leia says. Her voice is barely hearable and she does not look up.

"It was," Ben replies. "But like you may have noticed, your father wasn't the type that followed the rules. Nevertheless, he was a brave man. He was called the Hero with No Fear, a name he indeed deserved. Anakin Skywalker was intelligent, smart, loyal…

I cut in. "He was loved."

Luke wants to ask a question but I can feel he's holding back. "It's okay, Luke," I say and meet his gaze.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. "W-what happened to him? You talk about him in past tense. Is h-he…?" I swallow, trying to drown my sorrow and tears. What am I going to tell him? I will not allow my son and daughter to hate their father, not for a second. _Padmé, you're going to tell them the truth._ Just not all of it. "He was destroyed by a monster fifteen years ago. He was destroyed by Darth Vader!" It takes me a few seconds to notice that I yelled the last part. I then give in to the sobbing and buries my face in my hands. How did it go so wrong? WHY did it go so wrong? We could have been the perfect family.

I feel Leia's hand on my bag and hear her sweet voice. "It's okay, mom. I understand why you miss him. And we don't blame you for not telling us." With my sleeve, I dry away the tears and embrace her and her brother. "You are the most wonderful children in the entire galaxy. I love you so, so much. Never doubt that." I release them and go back to my chair where I left something important. "Think fast," I say and throw the lightsaber to Luke.

He catches it and looks at me, confused. "It was your father's. He would have wanted his children to have it." My smile grows wider. "And you two are going to need it if you're to start practicing Jedi skills."

"Are you serious?!" the two fifteen years old teenagers asks. Their eyebrows are shooting straight towards the sky and their jaws the other way. Ben laughs and says that it is about time that he starts teaching them something useful. "I am indeed serious," I answer and giggle. They remind me of a little boy I knew once. A little boy who had lived a hard life and then found out he was going to be a Jedi. A dream-come-true story.

"Ben do you still have…" I don't get to finish my question before he replies: "Of course I have! A little friend kept it for me." He starts to go outside and I follow, knowing exactly where we are going. Behind me, Luke and Leia send each other a questioned look and goes after us.

* * *

Outside, the two suns shines brightly and heat up the sand. I can barely believe Ben can open the garage door without burning his hands. Here must be hotter than Musta… than an oven. We all step inside the cool garage and my gaze falls upon a large, dirty piece of fabric. I smile to myself, thinking about what's under it. "Mom what is this?" Leia asks. "You told us to never play in here as kids."

"First of all," I say. "You're still kids. Second… I think Uncle Ben can answer your question." The moment after, the old, Jedi Master grabs the fabric and pulls it off. Two droids appear. A brave, little astrodroid and a protocoldroid that maybe talks a little too much.

Ben smiles. "This, my dear Leia, is R2D2 and C-3PO."

"No way!" Luke shouts.

Ben smiles wider. "Oh, yes way! This droid," he claps R2 on the blue top, "served your father in many space battles. And this protocoldroid was built by him when he was just the size of an ewok." I walk towards them and blow off some dust. Then I reach out after the back of 3PO's head and turn him on.

Light appears in his eyes and just like I remember, he says: "Hello. I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. How may I serve you?" It seems like he's starting to use his memory function, cause only a second after he gives out an "OH!" and then it starts. "Miss Padmé, I am so glad to see you! You will not believe what we have been going through! We have… I actually don't remember. They must have hit my head!" Of course he doesn't remember. All the memory he had about the year my twins were born, was deleted. Only R2 remembers but I know he won't tell Luke and Leia. Threepio has that habit of saying too much.

I hear the beep sound of a well-known astrodroid and I turn my head towards the blue and white droid. Force, I've missed these two so much. "Hey there R2, Threepio," I greet them. The twins kneel down beside them and carefully start expecting them. "I'm Luke and this is my sister Leia," Luke says to the gold droid. "Are you really built by my father?" Pain in my heart. Pain, pain, pain. I've had enough talk about my lost husband for one day.

"I am built by Master Ani."

Luke and his sister's eyes lit up. "Do you mean Anakin Skywalker?" I almost groan in pain. Ben notice and quietly asks Luke and Leia to stop using his name. "I'm sorry mom," my son says guilty. I give him a sad smile, telling him it's alright.

"Yes," Threepio continues. "I am built by Master Anakin Skywalker. May I ask; where are we?"

"You're on Tatooine," Leia replies. "Also known as 'The dustball.'"

Suddenly R2 beeps eagerly as a reply to something Ben asked him. He opens his mechanical utility arm and hand a metal subject to the Jedi. A lightsaber. "Leia," Ben says to catch her attention. "I understand that you were very amazed by the story of my old Master Qui-Gon Jinn?"

"Yeah, he did some incredible things. I wish I could have met him."

"Well you can have this." Ben hands over the weapon. "It was his."

* * *

It has been a long day. The longest day in my life. It was neither a bad nor a good day. However, it was not just _a_ day. I can't explain it. My head lands on the pillow and in my thoughts, I wander back to days of my old life. There are many memories of my beloved and me, sad and happy. When we had a fight because he was overprotective. When I told him, I was pregnant. But also, how he almost killed me. And for the first time in my fifteen years of sorrow, I ask myself: _Do you want to meet him again?_ My answer would usually be a great yes, but now… If I met him and it was only so I could get hurt again, I would not be able to take the pain. Then, and _only then,_ would I leave my children.

I shake off the dark thoughts and close my eyes. Soon, I'm asleep and pictures, dreams, show up. Dreams of _him._

"_You're the most beautiful angle I could ever imagine." He stands with his back leaned against the wall and a cocky smile on his face. He's always cocky. I smile at him and laugh just because I can't help it. "You don't believe me?" He says. "Well, I'll show you it's true." And one, two, three, he walks across the floor of my office in the senate building and grabs me. His strong arms close around my waist and his lips touches mine in a passionate kiss. Even though I'm surprised, I kiss him back with all my heart. I can taste the desire in his mouth and I'm sure he can taste mine._

"_No," I say against his soft lips. "Not here." Kiss him again. "They'll catch us."_

_Without leaving my lips, Anakin raise his hand and I hear a "click" from the –now locked – door. Then he places his hand on the lower part of my back. I run my finger through his long, dark blond hair. No matter what he does, his hair will always be an uncontrolled mess. I love it. My action causes him to moan and as we press ourselves against each other's bodies, we move around the floor, like a dance. The dance continues until my back hits the wall and we pull away to breath. That's when I notice._

_Anakin's lips are black as coal but he does not seem to care. He just smiles widely. "Are you okay?" I ask and kiss him on the cheek. My lips leave a black mark and I gasp for air in shock. "A-Anakin?" The blackness spread and covers everything. His skin, his hair, his clothes, his smile, everything. Except his eyes. They're yellow…_

I scream.

* * *

Vader had promised himself, never to return to the dreadful place he had once called home. But a small, stupid act from the rebellion had made his Master send him there. Apparently, the jawas sold weapons that the rebellion had used. So now, Vader was on a ship with the course against Tatooine. But it wasn't that bad. Because the emperor thought that his wife was dead, and of a reason, Vader couldn't explain he wanted it to stay that way, Vader had never been able to send out troopers to look for her. He had to do it personal. And he hadn't searched Tatooine yet. Maybe, he would find Padmé there.

_To be continued…_

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**Hope you like it :) Leave a review on your way out please.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Sooooo sorry for the waiting everyone! Vacation means places without internet and stupid family visits you actually don't want to go on :) But here it is and I hope you enjoy! And by the way, thanks to my good friend LittleDanceGame16 (or sweetiepie) Without her, this chapter wouldn't have been out for a long time ;) thank you sweetie!**

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"Padmé! Padmé, wake up!" I slowly upon my sleepy eyes and the first thing I see is Ben. Why is Ben in my bedroom? He should be asleep in his own room. "Ben? What are you doing here?" I ask. His face is haunted by fear, sadness and many other emotions I don't like to talk about. The real question is from where these emotions come. What made him this sad? He only wakes me up like this when… "Go wake Luke and Leia while I'll grab the necessary." The words are out of my mouth before I even realize it. Then Ben is out the door and I pull off the blankets. Very quickly, I put on a dress and check that the japor snippet is around my neck.

From under my bed, I have pulled out a bag and now I'm throwing stuff in it. Two dresses and a flashlight. "Mom, what's going on?" I can hear my daughter's voice and spine around with the bag to see her alone in the doorway. Her brother is probably packing. "We have to leave now," I reply and walk past her to the kitchen. Though it has been five years since I was last in this situation, I know the routine like my own pocket. However, every time there is something different about it. Other things you don't have time to say goodbye to, other views you will never see again. Actually, it's not as if I know it like my own pocket, more like… A thing you thought you knew, but then he surprise you by turning to the da… _PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!_ "Vader's here," I add.

Leia don't need to know anything else before she goes and help Luke packing. "Only the necessary!" I shout after her and get back the reply: "I know!" Of course, she knows. She has also tried this before; we all have. However, this time, my children know why we are fleeing.

* * *

I the kitchen, I fill the rest of my little bag with water, fruit and other kinds of food. I have no more room for anything and run to the garage where Ben is already standing. R2 is trying to help him start the old speeder, which shall give us a lift to Mos Eisley. A moment I think it won't start but then relief washes over me when I hear a "wrruuumm, wrruuumm."

"Spines like a kitten," Ben says but there's no smile on his face. "Luke, Leia! It's now!"

The twins storms out of the front door and jumps in the speeder. Ben takes the driver's seat. I stand for a moment and look at the house. It has always been so beautiful when the suns were rising. Today is no excuse. This is the house we have stayed at the longest. Now, I will never see it again. I can't help myself but to wonder what would happen if I stayed? Maybe… "Padmé, you must come now!" Ben tells me. "I can sense him. He's one his way right here, right now."

_No more gazing now, you. You need to get away._ I place myself next to my gray-haired friend, who takes off. Behind me are Luke and Leia sitting with 3PO and R2. "You got your lightsabers?" I ask.

"Yep," Luke says and shakes his bag. Leia does the same and I send them the smile biggest smile I can afford right now. More like a grimace. I can't get it out of my head that my Ani is here. _Don't think of his name, Padmé. He's not here, Darth Vader is._ And he's is on his way.

The first tears start to roll down my cheeks and the sobbing follows it closely. My son rubs my back in comfort but it's no use. I cry and cry and cry and cry, all the way to the city. Once we are there, I dry my eyes and open the glove box. I take out the little metal device: a gun, and hide it in my sleeve. Ben nods to me and we all step out with our bags. The two suns are high on the sky now and the heat is suffocating. I wish we could live on Naboo but it's far too dangerous. I miss the lake country. I miss the people from the lake country. I miss the times from the lake country. There are only memories.

"This way," I say to distract myself and go towards the centrum of the city. My family keeps close to me and Ben's hand is at all-time inside his cloak, resting on his lightsaber. The people we pass barely notice us but you have to be careful in places like Mos Eisley. You never know what can happen. As we pass the centrum, I continue to lead us down the small streets and alleys until I see the door. It's gray, made of metal and looks like any other door here. However, near the doorstep, there is a little flowerpot and in the flowerpot, there's a dead rose. "It's here," I inform the other before I go across the almost empty street and knock the door. A little window opens in the door and a man with a hoarse voice asks, "Who are your allies?"

"Hope is my ally, faith is my strength. Justice is my voice and freedom is my goal."

The man's expression softens and he nods to us. The window closes and the door opens. Me, Luke, Leia, Ben R2D2 and C-3PO enter a little room with not much light and a smell of stuffiness. The only ones here are the man and us. "Hey there, my name is John. So," the guard asks. "What brings rebellions like you out here?" My children stares at him in shock and 3PO gives a little "Oh my!" off him. Leia then looks at me and whisper, "Are you a part of the rebellion?!" I shake my head and let Ben reply. "We need to get of this planet. Now."

"Well, my enemy's enemy is my friend, but what you're talking about is nearly impossible. The empire won't let anything leave this dustball unless they know the cargo and the destination."

"We can travel disguised as slaves? Won't that work?"

"Maybe, but they still need to know where you are going. So… where're you going?"

Ben looks at me before I nod; telling him to go on. We have planned where we would go next since we arrived on Tatooine. The Jedi turn his face back to John. "We are going to Alderaan."

* * *

"I can take you there."

We all turn our heads toward a woman who just walked in from a long hallway that leads deeper into the house. She's wearing a cloak and standing in the shadows so it's impossible to see who or what see is. She sounds like someone in her early thirty's but it's impossible to say so because her voice is so harsh. And not entirely sober if I may say so. Although, there is something familiar about her…

I notice that Ben is in some kind of shock. His jaw is pointing at the floor and his eyes are filled with disbelieve. "This force presence… no it can't be…" Before he gets to say anything else, or I get to ask a question, the woman steps forward into the light.

"Oh, shut up, Kenobi!"

No. That's not possible. I must have been put under a spell. Cause when I see this woman, I see Ahsoka Tano. Her lekku has grown out and her forms are more grown adults. Her baby-blue eyes are blurred because of the alcohol but I can clearly recognize them. She has large bags under her eyes and her gray lips are red: colored by the wine in her glass. "A-Ahsoka?" I ask just to be sure. She doesn't act like the Ahsoka Tano I knew.

"Padmé!" She says in a happy voice and hugs me. I can smell the alcohol very strong now.

"You know these people, Soka?" John asks.

"Of course, Johnny," she replies and gives Ben a hug too. "Obi-Wan! I missed you so much! I thought you guys where dead!" She steps back and wobbles a bit before taking a new sip of the wine. The she notice my children and that seems to sober her a bit. And I mean A BIT. "You must be Luke Skywalker," she says and walks over to my very confused son.

"Uhh… yes?" He has never been called anything else that Luke Kenobi, so I understand that it must be weird for him to hear his real name by a person he does not know who is.

Ahsoka laughs and says, "I never fail to recognize a Skywalker!" Then she grabs his jaw and looks very inspecting on him. "So that's the new Skyguy. You look like the old one and that's a big compliment from my side, so you better be happy!" The last part would have sounded threatening if she was sober. Her hand claps his cheek and her gaze wander to Leia. "And that's Leia. Pretty like your mother. But I can sense Skyguy's stubbornness in you."

Ben decides to cut in and I'm so grateful for that. "Ahsoka, how did you end up like this? What happened to you?"

The big grin on the togruta's face gets even bigger. "You wanna know what happened to me? There happened what did to all of us." Her smile disappears and for a single moment, she's entirely sober. "Anakin happened."

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**Did you like it? I really hope you did! Leave a review please :)**


	6. Chapter 5

**New chapter :) Please leave a review, I beg you! Enjoy ;)**

"Anakin happened."

Her words are like poison and I don't need to be a Jedi to know that she hates him. I don't need to feel her anger and suffering, cause I can see it in her eyes. The pain in my heart increases. How could you do this, my love? How could you bring so much pain to this already painful world?

"You knew our father?!" Leia asks with an expression just as confused as Luke's. "Mom, who is she?"

Before I get to say anything, the togruta bows and says, "I'm Ahsoka Tano. Former Jedi, now, the best pilot the rebellion got." John laughs and informs us that it is true… that is when she's sober. "She can fly the worst hunk of junk across the galaxy and back again without getting a scratch. But I do recommend that you guys wait to fly so that Ahsoka has time to… uh… get ready." He means sober up.

"We cannot wait," Ben continues. "There is… someone here looking for us. And believe me, he will find us if we don't flee."

"So you've felt it to, huh?" Ahsoka interrupts John's upcoming sentence. "He's here. Now we can all have a big, family reunion!" Her happy voice is so sarcastic, but I fear her words. What if Luke and Leia finds out that the man they think is a monster, is truly their father? My fear comes true when Luke asks, "What do you mean, 'family reunion'?" At first, Ahsoka looks confused. Then, a big laugh escapes from her grey lips and her gaze turns toward me. It's full of mockery. "Why doesn't this surprise me, Padmé? Why don't your little lies shock me?"

I can feel my face turn pale as all my blood leaves my head. "Enough, Ahsoka," Ben says. It is no use. The rebellion who lead us in, pull back into the shadows and goes down the hallway from which Ahsoka came. We are alone.

"Don't you trust them enough?" Tears are forming in her eyes and mine.

"Ahsoka, I trust them with…"

"NO! You know NOTHING of trust!" She lowers her voice again. "Unfortunately, I don't either. No one has ever trusted me before. That's why I left the order so many years ago. They didn't trust me." For a short moment, she looks at Ben who crumbles under her gaze. My children just look confused and terrified at us.

Anger builds up in me. "Anakin trusted you!" I shout.

"Did he now?" Her words make me shiver. "Then why didn't he tell me about you?" Wheels are turning in my head and suddenly a question pops up. How do Ahsoka know all this? About Anakin and me? How did she know my children's names? "You don't know what it's like," she continues. "You don't know what it was like to overhear a conversation between your Master and _his wife_. You don't know what it was like to wake up every day in three years, hoping that he would now trust you enough to tell you himself. You don't know what it was like to feel his force presence every second after you left the order. What is was like when you suddenly felt two more of him and knew that his wife had delivered babies. And how his presence was changed into…" Tears are streaming down her face while I stand in shock. All these years, Ahsoka has been haunted with Anakin's force presence like Ben. Haunted by the dark side. But the worst part: Anakin had tormented her daily, because we decided not to tell her. Decided that it was too risky.

"He didn't trust me…" she sobs and I place my arms around her. The glass falls to the floor and ends up in thousands pieces.

"I'm so sorry, Ahsoka," I say. "I didn't see it that way. But I can assure you that Anakin trusted you with his life."

My friend pulls back and looks very sad. "I'm sorry, Padmé. For all of this," I'm about to tell her that this isn't her fault, but she holds up her hand to silence me. "However, I have to tell you this. I can feel your hope, your faith in that everything will go back to normal." She sighs. "I… I don't have that faith. For me, things will never be 'normal' again. For me… He is truly dead."

* * *

Of course, my children had asked what Ahsoka had meant. They aren't stupid. And of course, I had been forced to answer. "She was Anakin's Padawan before she left the order. As you can see, his… end took hard on her." Leia had then asked what the togruta had meant with 'truly dead' and 'how his presence was changed into…' I didn't reply. I just gave them the another-time-another-story look.

Now, I'm sitting in a seat onboard off an old, Nubian ship. It's a little risky to travel in Nubian but it's the only ship we got. Behind me, Luke and Leia are strapping themselves on to their seats while Ahsoka tries to make this hunk of junk fly. "Are you sure you can fly this thing?" Ben asks.

"Of course I can!" Ahsoka replies angry and with an actually very sober voice. "T-t-trust me." Those words are hard for her to say. No one has ever trusted her before, from her point of view, so I can see her struggles. Ben sighs and takes a seat while my friend's orange fingers quickly press the many buttons. Finally, the ship starts. As we go higher and higher, I refuse the tempting of looking out the window. What if I saw him? What if he saw me? I know it's impossible but still…

"Going out of the atmosphere," someone informs me. Probably Ahsoka or Ben. The two youngest sighs in relief. "Finally!" Luke says. "The nasty feeling is officially gone."

"Me too, bro," his sister adds.

Ben looks curios at them and asks, "What do you men _nasty feeling_?"

Leia answer. "We've had it all morning. It felt like a cold, dark cloud. It's hard to describe."

Still starring out of the window, which now shows thousands of stars, Ahsoka joins the conversation. "It was the dark side you felt. Vader." No one says anything and the silence takes over us for a few minutes. "You are strong with the force, young ones," she adds.

Luke's face gets a heroic glow and he pulls out his lightsaber. "If Vader as much as looks at my family, I will cut him in a thousand pieces! I will avenge my father!" Why these words? Of everything, he could have said instead he says exactly these words. The pains in my heart increases and remind me of what could have been. Me, him, our kids and a happy ever after. But before I get to cry, Ahsoka's shaking voice is heard. "Luke, y-your light… lightsaber…" She walks closer to him and kneels at his seat. "Is that…?

He nods and hand over the weapon to her. Her hands shakes and she looks very carefully at the metal device. A smile appears behind her tears and presses the lightsaber to her chest. "It's exactly like I remembered it. Heavy, practical and," she ignites it. "A blue blade." R2 beeps in approval. He remembers it too.

"Do you miss our father?" Leia asks.

Ahsoka sniffs and nods very convincing. "I miss him very, very much. I used to call him Skyguy and he called me Snips. He was my best friend and I thought of him as my big brother."

The rest of our trip in hyperspace continues with Ahsoka's stories about her and her Master. However, I continue it my room because I can't bear hearing about my husband.

* * *

The shaking of the ship wakes me up and I wonder how long I've been out. The ship shakes again, very hard, and I run to the control room to see what is wrong. Everybody has a terrified look on their faces and I quickly get one myself. "What's going on?!" I yell to drown out the sound of our engines' struggles. It sounds like a million Wookies, roaring at the same time. "It's the Death Star!" Ben yells back. "It blew up Alderaan right in front of us. And now we're caught in a tractor beam!"

Suddenly, all I can hear is my heartbeat. No. No, this can't be happening. This is what we have been trying to avoid for fifteen years. With success until now. I get eye contact with Ben, my friend for so many years, and we both now it's over. There is nothing we can do. What scares me the most, is the thought of my children. I will not let anything happen to them. If I'm going down, I'm going down with a fight.

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**Thanks for reading. I hope you will be back for the next chapter :) Please leave review. It takes you one minute and gives me days of happines :D**


	7. Chapter 6

**My life is soooo busy right now! Sorry for the long wait. Hope you can forgive me :) Enjoy the story!**

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Something's, you never learn to value enough. You can only see how much they are worth when you lose them. Then you'll regret every single moment that you didn't thought about it. I regret every single moment were politics took over my mind instead of Anakin. It didn't happen a lot but I still regret it. Maybe if I had thought of him more? If I had demanded him to go to Obi-Wan with his nightmares instead of just giving him silly advices like the stupid, pregnant wife I was? I could have done more! I know I could. But there is nothing left for me to do than regret. I regret that I've lost Anakin. I will soon regret losing Ben and Ahsoka. Luke and Leia? I will not regret losing them. Because I will not lose them.

"R2, pull back!" I shout.

The droid beeps in panic and tries to stop the ship once more. "It's no use!" Ahsoka yells back. "We're trapped! The only thing we can do now is waiting."

"NO! I will not let them take my kids! If I have to fight, then mark my words, I WILL FIGHT!"

"Against the stormtroopers?!" the togruta asks back. "Against the emperor?! Against HIM?!"

I've prepared myself for this day in many years. The day I would face him again. Of course, I hoped that the day would never come. Mostly. Sort of. Not really. Though it was safest for my children never to get in range of Vader, something inside me never stopped longing for his presence. Ben told me that Anakin, in his last real-self moment, said to him that he would regret letting me go. I guess we're all regretting something. He would look for me. So I know he still care for me and that's what's making it so hard to say this. "If I have to."

Ahsoka walks up close to me, our faces only centimeters from each other. I can feel the warmth of her orange nose. She's narrowing her blue eyes and she says, "You don't have the guts to do it." Then she leaves. Fleeing to her little room, I suppose. I clear my throat but my voice still break. "R2 pull…"

"Padmé," Ben says and shakes his head. And I shake mine with him.

"No. Please, Ben. No." I bury myself in his hug and sobs. "No, no, no, no, no."

The ships makes an awful sound, I believe is coming from the engines and Luke looks at me with his big, blue eyes. His father's eyes. "I'm scared, mom," his sister says and in the corner of her eyes, tears are forming. I walk to my chair, sit down and clap my thigh. Immediately she runs to me, so fast, that her dark brown hair flutters behind her. Her small body takes its place on me left thigh and she cries into my shoulder. Luke sits in front of my chair and he is clearly fighting back the tears. How easy you forget your children's real age when they behave so mature all the time.

"Shh, shh, shh," I say, rocking my daughter and me back and forth. "It's going to be alright."

"We're gonna die, aren't we?" Luke says.

I look down at my son. He doesn't look at me, but at the floor. However, I think he sees something quiet else than that. "No, no, no. You're not going to die." _You, _my children_,_ aren't going to die. I cannot say the same for the rest of us.

_Bump._ We hear that sound as the ship lands in the Death Star. Also known as Destroyer of Earths And The Happiness, among the rebellions. D.E.A.T.H Star. We have barricaded the door with R2 and 3PO's help and the stormtroopers are fighting to open it. "You ready?" I ask the two Jedi.

Ben nods while Ahsoka says, "This is going to be so much fun!" C-3PO only yells, "We're doomed!"

They ignite their lightsabers and not a moment later, five Imperial soldiers break in. They shoot but their skills are no match for my friends. They swing their weapons and it almost look like a dance. A very deadly dance. "Hey, Kenobi?!" Ahsoka shouts over the sound of the battle. "If you can get near the troopers without using your lightsaber and then cut of two heads in one swing," she pauses to block an attack, "and if we make it out alive," sends back a lazer beam which kills a soldier, "I'll buy you and ice cream!" Ben laughs and stops the blue lightsaber mid-air. He walks slowly towards the enemy and like a leaf in the wind, he moves between the red lazer shots. Closer and closer and… chop! Two heads on the floor.

"Nice one!" The togruta yells and finish the last ones.

Luke and Leia looks amazed too but I'm not. It's not something to show to kids. Then I remember that Ahsoka was only fourteen when she became a Padawan and I guess Ben wasn't much older than that too. What a terrible thing to do to children. "Where do we go now?" I ask and shake the nasty thoughts out of my head. "We can't stay here."

"We have to deactivate the tractor beam or destroy the reactor of it." We all turn our heads towards Luke. "What?" he says. "It's basic knowledge."

Ahsoka blinks and says, "It is. How did you know that?"

"We watch a lot of TV," Leia replied for him. "Let's go."

We, or Ahsoka and Ben, fought many stormtroopers before we arrived at the control room of the tractor beam. Or control room and control room, it's more just a machine. A giant machine though, next to a bridge. The bridge is so high I can't see the floor. If there even is a floor. The only thing I can see was the tractor beam reactor, which stretches from the ceiling and to the maybe-it-don't-exist floor, and the blue light from the lazer. As the droids blocks the doors for more incoming troopers, an alarm starts to ring. _Intrude alert, intruder alert. Reactor 341B, reactor 341B._ "Great," Ahsoka says and rolls her eyes, "Now the entire space station knows we're here!"

"Then let's get this machine turned off!" My voice is loud and clear. It doesn't tell how frightened I am.

Leia steps forward as if I'd asked for her. "Where do you think you're going, young lady? If you believe I will let you crawl out on that reactor, then you're wrong."

"But mom! I'm good at machines; I can split a ship to a million pieces and put it back together better than before. I can do this."

"I don't doubt, my angel, but leave this to the Jedi."

"But…"

"This is no time for arguing!" a certain togruta shouted. "We need to get this over with and we, THE JEDI, can't do it if you to wont shout up!" Silence at once. Tano and Kenobi begin to circle the reactor with careful movements while the sounds of stormtroopers on the other sides of the doors grow louder. My heart is beating in light speed and not the good way. Our luck can't last forever. Sooner or later, it will run out and we will be captured, tortured or worse. After at least a million years, Ben informs me that we can't stop the tractor beam and I sigh relieved. Then I realize what he said.

"What do you mean _there's nothing we can do about this_?" I ask and consider the option of fainting.

Before he can reply, we hear the worse thing I could ever imagine. _"Information: Lord Vader has arrived on the Death Star and will take care of the intruder problem. All troopers, minus the 501's legion, are to return to normal duties. Repeat: All troopers, minus the 501'st legion, are to return to normal duties._

Almighty force. I have prayed to you many times. I am no Jedi nor Sith. I'm just a believer who has never asked for much. Now I ask for everything. I ask for my children to survive cause they are everything to me. Safe them and I will do anything you ask.

I'm not the only one in shock. Leia and Luke shakes, like me. Ben's having trouble breathing, like me. And Ahsoka… Ahsoka look like she's about to die. Like me. "He's here!" It's not a shout but a scream that comes from our togruta friend. "He's here! No, no, NO!" She's clearly going in to shock, though I am too, I'm just not showing it. "I… I-I can't… he's too strong… he was always the strongest of us! I can't face him!"

"We have to get out of here now," Ben's calm voice says. "If we just had a heavy material the throw down to the reactor-core, we could destroy it easily."

"What about a lightsaber?" Luke tries but his uncle just shakes his head.

"It would deactivate long before it landed and the weight is not enough." At that point, I think I see a sparkle in Ahsoka's eyes. Like an idea. "I can't face him." She repeats her own words but way more calm and serious. We all turn to her. She's dangerously close to the edge of the bridge. "But I can help you."

I know what she's doing. "NO!" I jump to her but something keeps me where I am. Ahsoka is using the force against me and I can't move a centimeter. None of us can. "Why Ahsoka?" I shout and tears are already running. "You're so brave and strong! If I can face him, why can't you?!" For a second, she's smiling.

"I don't have the guts to do it."

Ahsoka Tano leans over the edge. And falls.

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